1. |
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and some days
I just stay awake
cause I got all of these thoughts in my head
that won't go away
we can stay up all night if we have to
we can change the way we see it
don't ever feel like I made you
you have your own say too
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2. |
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I'm wishing on a shooting star
To find my fucking piece of mind
I'm trapped here in this universe
Just trying to stop the sands of time
Trying to beat my depression
But i just lost brother when we were in the sights of success man
I'm holding down my own dreams
I'm feeling so lonely
I work two fucking jobs just to try and make ends meet
But it always turns out the same
Hitting the bowl and Scrapping the bottom of an ash tray
I feel like I'm the one to blame
Not looking for a rainbow
Just trying to find that tunnel that shines
I'm just trying to find that bright light
A reason to stop and actually enjoy my life
I'm tired of feeling like I'm loosing my mind
Since I lost my brother
I've lost all track of time
I've stayed in my room
man I couldn't even write
Just focus on the night
Trying to pick myself up off the floor again
Wipe my eyes
because the new day is about to begin
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3. |
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Yeah she's off that dro and that heenesy
Yeah i know that I'm not what she needs
Pour up a glass and leave it all to me
Yeah i know that im not what she sees
She's always tripping over something different
Closing my eyes just to see the vision
I want her to see the bigger picture
Focus a little take snap shot and take it with yah
I just wish you woulda listened
And maybe then your spirits would be lifted
How was I supposed to go on with things that way
What made you think that I'd want to stay
I tried to fix it but always turned out the same
Am I just going on
About the same shit in every song
You're always popping pills
So we never get along
And i know that's it okay
Cause you also feel the same
You try to say that i did you wrong
Only cause i left you
Man i did no wrong
To look after you
Yeah I promised your mom
Now i feel like I can't hold on
Yeah she's off that dro and that heenesy
Yeah i know that I'm not what she needs
Pour up a glass and leave it all to me
Yeah i know that im not what she see
Every day i see you pouring up them shots
You coulda saved money and pulled a Bentley from the lot
Now your always asking me for change
When i think you're the one who really needs to change
I told your mom im sick of living life this way
Holding onto the past and never fixing our mistakes
But your life seems to about the turn up
And honestly you should turn it down
I know from time to time i did your harm
I know i found out just what you are
I'm trying to turn up so you turn me down
I not what you need, no not right now
I not what you see, now way no how
I tried, it's over, so i left this town
It always brings me down
So i left this town
Yeah she's off that dro and that heenesy
Yeah i know that I'm not what she needs
Pour up a glass and leave it all to me
Yeah i know that im not what she see
Yeah im not what she needs
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4. |
Unwind ||prod. Skel
02:27
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Yeah i know it's just a bright light
Everyone knows im not about the night life
I stay in write a song until my brains right
Can't get back time can't live this twice
Long nights driving alone feeling alright
Wish i could spark a tree just one last time
Pushing towards my dreams
Leaving behind the finer things
Looking for my homies but they already left me
I was just trying to be a dad
Give the best i thought i had
Moved away and the lost the shows
Lost the plays and lost all hopes
Start a blog to put y'all on
stay connected
But you said i was wrong
Couldn't afford the gas to shows
Lost your play and lost all hopes
Yeah i know it's just a bright light
Everyone knows im not about the night life
I stay in write a song until my brains right
Can't get back time can't live this twice
Trying to do what i felt was right
You wouldn't understand the pain i had to fight
Giving up my dream to raise a little one
With a woman who wouldn't support the thing i want
All you do is music this
All you do is music that
I'm just trying to be happy
I'm trying to bring my sanity back
In a world lost to pain
I'm just trying to relax
I'm trying to unwind
Play a couple shows
Speak my mind
Sing a flow
Bring back time
But i know we can't this twice
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5. |
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6. |
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Bringing me down
Bringing me down
Why are you always bringing me down x3
You never knew how much it actually broke me down
Who's that over there ?
I don't think that you care
No, you never gave a fuck about me
You tell me not to stare
Took the breath from my open mouth
Never known how it broke me down
I wet in circles somewhere else
You took the breath right out of my mouth
You picked me up and shoved me back down
I feel like I'm missing out
Losing time, I'm having doubts
Spinning in circles trying to figure it out
I don't know which ways down or up
I just know you tore me up
You had me right on the cusp
BayNay:
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7. |
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And I've been thinking about you
ever since you left me
and I don't have a clue
I've been looking for the step see
You know just what you wanted
Left this earth and I can't be mad at you
Cause you run your own life
I just wish you would've called me too
Yo my brother took his own life
I can't act like I haven't contemplated it too
Running through the steps in my mind
Trying to figure out why you followed through
Man I've never had the courage myself
I shouldn't say courage when it comes to mental health
You always told me you admired how i dealt with pain
Never had to pop a pill, just smoked to maintain
And I've been thinking about you
Ever since you left me
You left more than me here too
And now we go on and on and
None of is have a clue
We just wish you would of shared your pain
So we could help pull you through
I Feel like I'll always carry you on
Yeah I'll never let you go
Your temple may not be here
But we'll always have your soul
Saying goodbye without seeing you was the hardest thing to deal with
Now again im lostin these thoughts
Looking for an answer to something that no one has ever been taught
Man im just lost in these thoughts
You seemed to always know exactly what to say
To make my depression turn to grey
I take a step back cry and feel the same
But for your legacy i know i must change
And I've been thinking about you
Ever since you left me
You left more than me here too
And now we go on and on and
None of is have a clue
We just wish you would of shared your pain
So we could help pull you through
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8. |
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Everyday I feel like im fighting this war
Trying to bring myself up out of this ward
Antidepressant feel the mental try to compress it
Don't let it take control
Depression got that fuckin hold
Ruining everything I've ever known
I just wish that i could show
(I just wish that i could show)
You everything that makes me cold
I don't wanna be alone
We've got too much to lose control
But i feel like I've lost all hope
Tonight we say goodbye
I don't want it to be the last time
You coulda just let me know
That from go I wasn't your goal
Ill live my life if you say so
Just don't speak at me with that tone
I got it all wrong
Now this depression is my home
Tonight we say goodbye
I don't want it to be the last time
That i hold you
Or let you know
You're the reason i breathe
You're what keeps me calm
I never told you i was strong
I never told you I was strong
But you just strung me along
Emotions and all
You're the reason i fall
And get back up
I never wanted to give this up
But you couldn't commit
I'm not here to judge
But judge i will
Cause you cause how i feel
I'm just trying to feel surreal
Im just trying to feel surreal
Im just trynna feel
The void im trying to fill
The void im trying to fill
Tonight we say goodbye
I don't want it to be the last time
You coulda just let me know
That from go I wasn't your goal
Ill live my life if you say so
Just don't speak at me with that tone
I got it all wrong
Now this depression is my home
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9. |
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Every day I feel like somethings in my way
Every day I feel the need to leave this place
No matter what I try I still feel the same
I feel like I'ma die before i am King
I just wanna make my daughter so proud but I can't with how my bodys feeling now
I'd sell my soul just to make it out
I'd sell my soul just to make her proud
I feel so much pain in my stomach
I feel so much pain I can't hustle
I feel so much pain in my stomach
Deaths the only thing I see comin
Who am I to let it go
Everything I've once known
all the happiness I've got to hold
but man I've never felt this low
my body is taking control
my body is taking control
like what the fuck did I do wrong to deserve this life
all I've ever done is tried
tried to be the best me despite the demons I have inside
Despite the pain that constantly attacks my mind
suicides not what I want but it seems like the answer
battling every day like im warding off this cancer
but the pain is too much
weeds no longer my crutch
I feel the poison when we touch
but it's never enough
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10. |
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I don't wanna go along with this stupid game you play
I just wanna be the one you want
She only loves me when she's drunk
I just wanna be the only one
I just wanna be the one you want
She only loves me when she's drunk
Cause we are gone
And i don't know where you are
Yet You know nothing of me
And i know everything about you
You make me want to change
And I know my life would never be the same
Yet I'm addicted to the fame
Though I've never tasted a thing
I just want us to be the same
Cause we are gone
And i don't know where you are
Yet You know nothing of me
And i know everything about you
I've got a lot to say
So could you stay and wait
I miss the times played
But im so done with this game
I never thought it'd end this way
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11. |
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How can i love you if your so far away
How do i love someone who lips I can not taste
You brought me out of my misery
You showed me there could be some brighter days
We're thousands of miles apart but still feel the same
Is this just reality
I hope you won't get mad at me
If I start to change
We check each other's facebooks everyday
We share each others pictures to help elevate
I know you must be afraid
Ill find someone else
Put you on the shelf, to focus on myself
You say im yours
And you are mine
But are we reallay
How can i love you if your so far away
How do i love someone who lips I can't taste
Though I'd give it all just to feel you face
I wish it didn't have to be this way
KDR:
I'm starting to lose my mind yeah I'm starting to lose my mind
You see, how could I love you if I cant even love myself?
It's a constant battle in my mind within myself
People always tell me that they worry for my health
But you see, I dont want you to worry about me
Cause I've spent so much time deciding I'll just be free
I can choose just to be happy or let these demons win
But I'm a demon myself and that's why I always sin
Yeah, RIP T.RICH and RIP JAKE JiLLA
You were my fucking brothers and you showed me how to kill it
Your gorgus dreams will never die - I promise we'll fulfill it
We're doing all this for your honor til the day we're with ya
Eyerises:
How can i love you if your so far away
How do i love someone who lips I can't taste
Though I'd give it all just to feel you face
I wish it didn't have to be this way
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12. |
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Another panic attack today
I can't stop theses stomach pains
I left my heart in your bedroom
Along with with all of my thoughts of me and you
I'd say im sorry but I cant find the right words
To make up for how i caused your hurt
It caused my to never want to think
To you I meant everything
I used to roll up packs of loud
Now I can't even figure my health out
How am I supposed to clear your doubts
When im just lost and searching now
When im just lost and searching now
Sometimes times i feel like such a deadbeat
Sometimes i feel like you always wanted me to leave
Sometimes i felt like i would agree
Sometimes i felt like i should come clean
I should come clean repeat
You and meee
We could go on forever
We can stop this pain together
We know that we're not what we need
I never ask for your sympathy
You're better off with almost anyone else
You never pit me on your high shelf
In fact you never picked me up at all
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13. |
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I saw in my dreams
that you never left me
but then I woke up
to not having a thing
I said this was all a joke
Unlike you I don't wish you'd choke
I know it's make believe
But why can't you believe in me
I know it meant more to you
Then at the time it meant to me
Why can't you accept my apology
Why Can't you see that I'm hurting
I saw in my dreams
that you never left me
but then I woke up
to not having a thing
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Eyerises Indianapolis, Indiana
Creator of Sad Emo Jams for the world to enjoy < 3
#GorgusHustle
Father > Everything
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